Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
