i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And then the night went full on bisexual.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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