Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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