Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
