Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
