i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize