john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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