just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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