nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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