dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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