Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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