i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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