Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
