Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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