She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
