this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
