Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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