Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
