I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
