BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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