i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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