I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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