I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I smell like Dick and happiness
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