After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
