when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
