I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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