Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
