You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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