Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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