I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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