areolas are like halos for boobs.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
