You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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