there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Randomize
