Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
