Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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