Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
