I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
