I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
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Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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