Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
