Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

My boss' voice literally gives me gas

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(205): View more from Alabama

One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.

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(845): View more from New York

Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.

(716): View more from New York

gotta love spring break

(845): View more from New York

gotta love slutty girls from the south

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(203): View more from Connecticut

just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex

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(510): View more from California

I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.

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(248): View more from Michigan

you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.

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(587): View more from Alberta

I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?

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