I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
