I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
