After last night, I could never be a politician.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize