Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
