im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
