so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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