this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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