# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I will pee on everything he values.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
