im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
try to milk me bitch
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