I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
