Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
