In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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