u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
