And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
