He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
