IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
