I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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