id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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