Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
