do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize