Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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