but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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