Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
